I haven’t been on the road long. About 9 days. I find that as I wander, explore and travel I am actually most concerned with finding a sense of home. Every night I set up my tent, lay out my sleeping mat and sleeping bag. I place my memory foam pillow at the head of the “bed” and I grab my copy of Modern Love by Aziz Ansari. I read, update social media, and let my parents know I’m still alive. Basic things.
As I reflect on the road trip rituals I’ve developed I realize that ritual is the thing that grounds me. Especially while traveling because there are so many unknowns and at its core, traveling is UNCOMFORTABLE. Behind the Instagram highlight reel is hours and hours of driving, migraines from dehydration, endless amount of bug bites, public restrooms that smell like death, crappy fast food, cultural disassociation with the white families and busses of Asian tourists that surround me, loneliness, and boredom. I feel like no one ever talks about the everyday-ness of travel. You still have to eat, poop, and sleep. You still get bored. You still miss your loved ones. You still have anxiety about your future. Like, crap…will I make to the next gas station? Did my tire just pop or is this a shitty road? Am I gonna get kidnapped and chopped into pieces in the middle of the night cause I’m camping alone? (I blame the movie “Taken” and my dad for instilling that fear in me)
//Ah! I had to take a blogging break because a bug was crawling under my shirt. Laying in a hammock can be really hard (sarcasm).//
Like life, it hasn’t all been bad. Obviously from my Instagram you can tell I’ve been blessed with some beautiful scenery and company. Traveling has shown me that wanderlust and beauty exists on the road and off. At home and abroad. Alone and in community.
Being alone for 1,000 miles has taught me to take care of my needs. To know when to stop and rest. To know when to call home. I’ve learned that plans can be changed. (FYI Airbnb has a pretty sweet cancellation policy.) Life is more flexible than I am. I’ve learned to always ask for the picture. Because it’s always worth it.
I’m excited to arrive back in Los Angeles after four years of Portlandia life. I’m grateful for these 10 days of liminal space to process, breathe, cry, laugh, and make art.
My friend and travel buddy for the first week of this trip left me with the words, “L.A needs you.”
I am comforted because I know I am cherished in L.A and in Portland. However, I’m terrified of all the unknowns. Especially regarding community and work. Please pray that I build new and old friendships, that I find a solid church community to pour into, and a job that is sustainable and has potential for growth.
I look foreword to future opportunities to take trips around town or around the world. Thanks for following along. Every like and comment has encouraged me and made me feel like we’re in this journey together.
Studio Tian 